Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Shoelaces and Fortune Cookie Fortunes

Last night I dined on the always reliable Chinese food from Golden House. We rocked some crab ragoons, wonton soup, chicken chow mein, shrimp with vegetables, and a free order of chicken wings. Are you hungry yet? I always look forward to the fortune cookies, but lately the Golden House's cookies haven't been so fortune-like. Last night we got two fortunes which I'll paraphrase:
  • Self improvement is a challenge for you.
  • God gave you one face, you determine the other.

If you shouldn't judge a book by its cover, than you know never to judge your takeout Chinese food place by its exterior.

Let me get this straight, the first fortune tells me that I have trouble improving myself. This means I will never get better than I am now. My health, job, and overall life will never improve. How is that a fortune? Maybe the fortune cookie fortune writers were bored of writing only good/positive things so they thought it was time to stick it to the readers.

Probably not too far from the truth.

The other "fortune" is just as confusing. It tells you that whatever God has in store for you doesn't matter because you control your destiny. This blog isn't about religion, but no matter your thoughts about the fortune, since when does a fortune cookie fortune contain religious speak? Suppose you look past that interpretation, then the fortune also tells you that you're two-faced...the one God apparently gave you and the one you also apparently have. Thanks fortune cookie writers for letting me know my life will never get better than it is now and that I'm two-faced.

Me hulk. Me break shoelace.

The other critical event occurred this morning when I tied my black shoes. Either I don't know my own strength or my shoelace revolted and didn't want to be tied anymore, but I ripped it apart while double-knoting. Luckily I stole a shoelace from my beatnik pair and I was on my way. I guess this isn't a big deal, but my shoelaces usually don't snap all that often and now I know when they last broke.

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