Kids + Ice Skating = Funny Falling Follies

Over the weekend I made it out to the Cabin John Ice Skating Rink (not pictured below). I arrived an hour into the 2-hour session, but didn't really mind since my feet and interest would suffer if I had been there any longer. Despite a near sellout crowd, I had a few close parking spots to choose from my parking space family genes. Anyway, I eventually got my hockey skates (though for some reason I thought figure skating skates would at first be easier to use) and laced them as tight as possible. However, as tight as possible still meant lots of ankle wiggle room...do I hear a twisted ankle anyone? I waddled over to the ice trying to avoid slashing anyone's sneakers with my blades. It's a lot harder than you'd think with a few birthday parties worth of kids running around at the same time. Hey, if they get cut, they shouldn't have put their foot in my path. It's walker beware.

It's just like rush hour traffic except every pedestrian and car is a little kid with no traction, brakes, or sense of direction.

My gang and I made it to the ice and pushed off. About 20 feet into the skate, the balls of my feet were sorer beyond soreness (just go with it). None of us were great skaters, but we managed quite a few laps. A few laps in, two people in our group were helping one person around when they all fell. I was skating behind them to, um, stop them from falling, but they fell forward. I started laughing only to trip myself while trying to stop. Karma I guess. One person got a solid bruise as the day's only injury as long as you don't count sore ankles and legs. I was nervous to skate and do some lateral movement with my right leg and all (having already turned down a basketball game earlier), but thought this was nowhere near as intense as bball. I did fine and my leg should really be safe to use again, but I'll wait a little more until I've got enough courage before playing a real game.

I love seeing how my ankle rolls while I skate.

Since we skated in the later-half of of the session, the ice was pretty torn, but what do I know anyway? I'm just a big oaf with a high center of gravity who has skated a handful of times in his life. This made for a bumpy ride, but also provided lots of kids falling. Though some were wearing helmets, it never took away from my internal laughter and smile with each America's-Funniest-Home-Video-worthy-fall. Kids were running into each other, into the boards, or just plain falling on their own and I couldn't stop laughing. One older woman fell and seemed to have sprained or broken her arm, but everyone else's falls made me chuckle.

Take that you punk trying to showoff!

One of the renegade (young) rink workers and I skated into each other twice, but I caught him and held us upright. It's funny how a really good skater could run into me as I make same oval over and over again. Look, just because you're a good skater, doesn't mean you should skate as fast as you can, zig-zagging among us not-so-good skaters (that also pay your salary) and then stopping on a dime. Free skate sessions are not when you practice your speed skating or figure skating spins. We all know you're good, fine, now please move on with your life. As if we don't know that you really practice in an empty rink all the time. We know nobody really does their sincere practice during an open skate so stop acting like a fool before I "accidentally" lose directional control and check your face into the boards so hard you'd think it was a real hockey game. Thanks, I feel better now.