Sure, WTOP is hard to listen to these days with there "read straight from a PR release" stories, annoying chatter, and even more annoying laughter. Nevertheless, its saving grace is the traffic report on the 8's that I always catch. While driving along Canal Road on Thursday morning, I came upon a broken down car in the left lane. Being the considerate rush hour driver that I am (unless you cut me off when I didn't leave you enough space), I called WTOP's traffic line and reported the quickly building delay. Five minutes later, everyone in the DC metro area knew of my call. You're welcome.


Then, proving that I'm not a 2006 one-hit wonder (as I've called a few times in the past), I called again today after learning about a stalled car on Canal Road just after the Chain Bridge. When I got to the site, the car had been moved to the left so I did my patriotic duty and called the traffic line again and spoke with one of Lisa Baden's peeps and got my message across. She and the morning anchors are way too bubbly and easily amused for my taste, but at least I get the traffic report. If I had my way, I'd have Bob Marbourg (though anyone but Lisa works for me) report traffic in the morning as well as his afternoon slot. He doesn't deal with the dumb-downed anchor talk and gets right to business. While I was around the city this weekend, it was nice listening to 1010 WINS' longer traffic reports that were all business.


I recognize feeling giddy when a call of mine is reported is sad on lots of levels, but I have my reasons. You may ask, who actually calls the traffic line with traffic tips? If I'm already stuck for taking the wrong road, why should the next guy get the help I didn't? Well, I guess this just means I'm a good and courteous driver afterall...riiiiiiight.

It's all about the pay it forward (never saw the movie, but I think I got the idea), you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours (after you wax that hair) way of thinking. Many of WTOP's best traffic tips come from the drivers who are, hello, stuck in traffic. The tips I hear are usually from others who have made the cell phone minute sacrifice to let me know, so I'm just trying to keep the circle of life/traffic flow intact.


Even after I pathetically call, I get all excited (no, not down there) knowing it'll be on the next report. It's kind of like being an anonymous tipster who knows what'll be reported before the general public. You know, like those government people who leak stuff to the press and know what the Post will lead with tomorrow. I should have outgrown this feeling after a few years of hearing my writing read on TV news, but I haven't. I'm just trying to get my discredited 15 minutes of fame. That's why most of us blog anyway.

Among the things I can count on each morning is at least one story on WTOP that is ridiculous and has zero substance that makes me waste 30 seconds of my life. Many times, these stories derive from a lobby group or the latest medical study to suggest that food abc is good for you and food xyz will kill you. Of course, since there's no time for a complete story, we never hear the other side of the study to argue holes in its logic or why respected parts of the medical community completely dismissed it. Nevertheless, WTOP seems to always run dry on stories so everything is reported in the hopes that something will stick.


At 6:43 this morning, WTOP managed to talk about health news and get on its knees to spew some more lobbyist garbage speak. Instead of giving any context like background information, opposing viewpoints, or even how it was determined, WTOP reported that you'll get sicker by visiting a hospital. That's right, don't go to the hospital when you're feeling sick. Of course, they teased this story to no end. Nothing compares to creating a frenzy among your listeners by making them think they can't go to the hospital for help. What is this, the local Fox Radio affiliate now?


WTOP quoted some research (from a Denver Post column) that said, "100,000 Americans die each year from hospital-acquired diseases." And just what respected medical association/university put this together? The Service Employees International Union did. There's nothing like quoting a fact sheet distributed by a union with clear intentions. That's not to say facts should be ignored, but their source should be greatly considered. Nevermind that 100,000 (however they compiled that number and chose what categories to include is beyond the report's depth) is an incredibly low percentage of patients seen each year. I'd like to think the average listener can see the big picture of total patients, but I doubt it. If you can't see what I mean, I found a random hospital, the White Plains Hospital Center, and found in 2004, it alone had over 100,000 patients visit its radiology department.


What did WTOP expect its listeners to think after hearing this information? Thanks for this great reporting. Now when I need an emergency appendectomy, I'll ask the ambulance to take me to the nearest CVS to get medical supplies and do the work at home. I mean, I wouldn't want to go to a hospital where, according to WTOP, I'd get sicker and die because it's not like this area doesn't have a handful of world renown hospitals. All I'm asking is if you're actually going to report something as drastically stupid as this, at least give some background to it. It's hard to think any editor would give the okay to a story that simply says, "don't visit hospitals, because you'll just get sicker and even die," but then again, this is WTOP.

It seems no matter the office space I work in, I'm always within earshot of this vibrating noise from a drill or mini-jack hammer that makes me laugh. It's not your typical virbrating construction noise, but more of a thumping. It's the kind of noise that sounds a lot like the thing we all do, some better than others, that changes the smell in the air for the worse.


That's right, everyday, as construction is being done on an adjacent floor, it sounds like someone is farting (commence laughing), also known as breaking wind, cutting the cheese, passing gas, and letting one rip. I can't help but think like this when I hear the drill used.


It's along the same line as laughing when someone says, "It's my duty." From elementary school to the present, I still laugh when I hear that and think of "doody". I know, I shouldn't at my age, but I also know I'm not the only one who still does. I guess this can't be my postcard secret anymore.

So we've made into the second round of the NFL playoffs and my beloved NY Giants failed to make it past Carolina. Actually, they really just failed to even show up by getting shutout 23-0. I prepared myself for a bad game by chalking it up to Eli's first playoff game in only his second season, but that didn't mean everyone else had a built-in excuse as well. There was no shame losing to Carolina, as it hits its stride at the right time after being a popular Super Bowl pick, but getting skunked at home is embarrassing. I turned off the TV a few minutes into the 3rd quarter.



New York's front seven has been banged up all season so maybe it finally showed this weekend. Since the level of play in the playoffs is much higher than the regular season, the defense looked liked it just ran out of gas and they were happy just to make it. Somehow New York made it through the regular season with lots of non-starters, so it just caught up to them when they had to play even better against a quality opponent. Strahan and suprising DE Osi Umenyiora helped the defense all year long. However, that doesn't mean the defense is allowed to miss tackle after tackle in the playoffs.



I give Eli a pass (haha) this week because it is his first playoff game and it should be noted his brother didn't win a playoff game until his fourth try, so I can be patient with this kid. Quarterbacking in the NFL takes lots of time and a quick fix is rare, so Giants fans, as difficult as it'll be, should just take a deep breath and give him some time (like two to three years). Of course, I just hope that the team is still following Coughlin's discipline way of coaching by then. It's only a matter of time before his act grows old on the players and an entire year is wasted while they rebel by not following orders.



It really seemed like the Panthers knew what the Giants were calling on every play. Besides the fact that the broadcast showed a clip of Carolina's QB, Jake Delhomme (or Del-Homey as I purposely mispronounce it) mimicking the Giants defensive playcalling hand signals, Carolina's coach was New York's defensive coordinator from 1997-2001, so this idea isn't much of a stretch. It's too bad really, b/c Tiki Barber had the 2nd highest total yardage in NFL history and it's unlikely he'll match that effort next year. Of course, he'll still have a strong year, but it would have been nice to ride his career year a little further into the playoffs.


The worst thing about New York's loss is that the team from washington (TFW) went to Tampa Bay and won. The TFW is playing well despite its missing offense on Saturday and I still don't believe in Seattle which is probably due to the fact that the Giants almost won in Seattle (while the TFW did in OT) and that I haven't used the Seahawks in a videogame in the longest time. Granted, the most recent game I had until buying NFL Blitz: Pro yesterday was Madden '98 for Genesis, when I'd blitz their rediculously fast CB for an ungodly number of sacks, and then move Joey Galloway into the slot for lots of TDs because the CB wouldn't move in time when I put Galloway in motion. This Seattle team was legit, at least in the regular season, but the playoffs are much different than the regular season, so we'll see. At least for one week, I'm a Seattle fan and the early line favors Seattle by 9.

I can't believe I went a whole day without posting some miscellaneous/boring entry. That's what happens when my usual writing time is "interrrupted".

I've never been much of a bowler, so I've got a long way to match Ed Lorenz's career. Having already been inducted into the Kalamazoo Metro Bowling Association Hall of Fame, Lorenz, at 69 years old, bowled a perfect game last week. Sadly, in the fifth frame of the next game, he died. He went out at the top of his game. It was a career moment for Lorenz who had bowled two other perfect games in 2004 and was a member of four bowling leagues.


Lorenz had been bowling since 1957. Since 2002, his bowling achievements [now] include three 300 games, a 299 game, two 298 games, two games of 11 strikes in a row and two 800 series. Lorenz ended last season with a 223 average.

This weekend I was doing my early morning Target food shopping ($3.39 for Lactaid milk can't be beat) and was pushing my shopping cart around. It was nothing out of the ordinary until I tried resting my foot on the cart while my partner in crime was choosing her granola bars. My foot rose from the floor and was placed along the cart's backside only to hit the floor again.


That's right. In my unclearest way of telling you, there is no bar on the back of Target's carts. It is such a nice convenience to rest your foot there or even try riding it like a scooter, but you can't do either at Target. Maybe with a bar, cart pushers would have more control so situations I've faced before in the supermarket wouldn't happen.


This happened at the same Rockville Target that has a shopping car lifting escalator, but no shopping cart bar on the back. If this was done to prevent kids, punks, or youth from using the carts like scooters, well then Target doesn't have enough faith in its parental shoppers' ability to stop their kids from acting like fools. I agree some kids seem to do what they want, especially around the toy section, but there's no need to penalize all of us older, (even maturer), kids from resting our feet or having some fun.

We became incredibly spoiled over these last six weeks, just admit it. While my commute into work rarely gives me any significant traffic, my drive home inevitably used to be a traffic crap shoot. The last 10-15 minutes of my drive are the most hazardous to my personal time as I make it around the inner loop of the beltway by 270. Most of the time I run into some bumper-to-bumper traffic, at least by Old Georgetown Road, if not before the curve, but holiday season rush hour turns 495 into bizarro world. I flew around the inner loop without any traffic on 75% of my trips home. It was like driving on Saturday morning. I kept thinking, shouldn't there be more traffic at this time? Did I miss the evite to a huge happy hour for beltway commuters? I wasn't complaining, but just a little miffed by the whole experience.


It was a glorious time of year. The next low-flow time is the summer vacation season and it can't come any sooner.