Monday, August 08, 2005

Take Her Shopping Cart License Away!

After looking through my pantry and realizing that I can't get by on a dinner of boil-a-bag rice and PB&J sandwiches, I did some major food shopping last night and learned that some people just shouldn't be allowed to push their shopping carts without permission or training wheels.

This all took place while I was cruising along in this middle area between the health/beauty products and the pet food aisle. This space is twice as wide as a normal aisle with a few displays in the middle acting as medians. After getting my cookies, I turned into this space on my way to the bread aisle when I saw a woman in the other direction, but on the OTHER SIDE of the cinnabon display. I thought nothing of her since we were clearly on opposite sides and had some material between us (or better yet protecting me from her).

Just as we're about to pass each other, she suddenly swerves right after the raisin English Muffin stand toward my cart. Thanks to the Defensive Shopping Cart Driving School diploma I earned last year, I was able to swerve to the left - avoiding her brazen cart pushing, then powerslide back to the right around the sharp blades of the disposable razor display at the end of one of the health/beauty aisles. Well, the blades are sharp and they were in two layers of plastic for protection, but any blog entry sounds more exciting when weapons are involved.

I immediately had to stop my cart since I was shaken up from the matter. After checking for whiplash and my pants for any loss of bladder from being scared, I immediately turned around to give her the "I can't believe you can't control your shopping cart despite the wide aisle and product display medians eye". Of course, she didn't even give me the respect of turning around to see if I was okay, and do you know why?

She was on her cell phone!

The picture below is an artist's sketch of how I described her appearance (though the height is a little off):

I have no complaints about cell phone use, but there needs to be a rule that you can't push your cart and talk on the phone at the same time. Shopping cart usage rules must be adapted from our driving regulations. Here's the first may only use your cell phone in the store if your shopping cart is stopped or you have a hands-free device. The reason the woman almost hit me is because she was distracted and tried pushing the cart with one hand. I'd like to think we live in a world of supermarkets that don't require stop signs and traffic lights to safely buy food.


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1 comment:

BeckoningChasm said...

Cellphones are basically evil incarnate, and they give off pheremones which make people stupid and rude. (Or increase those qualities.)

Of course, I have a cellphone. But then, I'm stupid and rude. I have it on good authority.