Don't Leave Me An Empty Water Cooler...Jerkface Sandwich!

I got to the office this morning and made my way down the hall to fill a glass of water. The water cooler's inverted 5-gallon jug appeared empty, but it keeps a 1/2 gallon inside for those final water urges. I pressed the cold button and nothing came out. That's odd. I pushed again and got nothing.

Some asshat took the last drops of water and didn't replace the jug!

Who needs a cup when everyone can enjoy your germs!

Who does that? Really? A water cooler's premise is that everyone (who can lift 5 gallons) will replace the jug when it's emptied on their fill. Pretty simple concept. Why can't people in the office follow this simple cycle of water replenishment?

Our water cooler doesn't handle no-spill water caps, forcing us to do the quick turn and slam down replacement method.

There are many office etiquette no-nos and this is right up there. I'd say it's not as bad as farting/passing gas/breaking wind up and down the halls, but it's at least worst than cubicle-speakerphone guy. It takes a lazy, gutless, and inconsiderate person to leave an empty jug on the cooler to be discovered first thing in the morning too.

* * *

4/28 AFTERNOON UPDATE: I've determined who the office etiquette violator was through deductive reasoning, common sense, and general propensity for mindlessness.

It was me. And I'm here to admit my wrongdoing.

Call me crazy, but I'd rather drink from DC tap water and the high level of lead that comes with it than anything this guy handles.

After a glorious post-work workout, I had had my fill of water until the jug emptied and I wasn't in the mood to replace it. I knew full well that this meant I needed to be the first one in today after being the last one out yesterday. I made it in first, replaced the jug, and cleaned the crime scene of water splashings. Nobody was none the wiser...I think. And nobody will hear about this, at least not on the internet.