Sunday, September 07, 2008

Fantasy Football Feeding Frenzy

I am addicted to fantasy football (FF).

There. I've taken the first step and admitted I have a problem. Now let me get back to checking Yahoo's StatTracker. It's imperative I know all scores in real-time down to the hundredth decimal. Would you expect me to wait the eternity that is the next morning to find out how my sleeper picks failed?

FF feeds my desire to over research what would be simple decisions for everyone else. Just look at me buying Tiger Woods 09. I watched every trailer, read every preview and hands-on article, and regularly checked EA's game blog. Everything pointed to a can't-miss purchase, yet I still waited to read a few reviews before buying the game. Any other level-headed person would have just bought the game. I am not such a person.

I have used all of them, but only have myself to blame.

I cannot just make a FF roster change. I usually read at least two player writeups and throw in my amateur thoughts. The saddest part is that all of this work has failed spectacularly every year. I am making inroads toward recovery. This year I did no pre-draft research, using Yahoo's rankings and my unreliable gut instinct, and will use one research source for in-season moves.

I've played in enough leagues and scoring formats to know that FF success is luck, pure and simple. When I've made the right move, it's a good guess than actually knowing how well someone will perform. The NFL's parity gives every team a chance at the Super Bowl and gives every FF player an equal opportunity to fail or succeed.

There are some positives to a husband who plays FF.

Just because your top running back is going against one of the worst run defenses does not, and will not guarantee 100 yards and a touchdown. This rational realization comes after many seasons of beating myself up for starting the wrong player who nets 25 yards and a fumble, instead of my benched player and his 145 all-purpose yards and a score. It's not me, it's a player beyond my control.

Our family Channukah and Christmas parties often take place on the last two FF weeks. Sadly I'm never in the running for this to matter.

To curtail my FF addiction, I make these not legally binding promises to myself.
  • I will think twice before picking up that day's surprise performer because he will surely under perform thereafter.
  • I will try to not find out that, let's say, I should start the opposing running back because a defensive line has trouble stopping the run at night against offensive lines averaging 320 pounds on artificial turf when it's less than 55 degrees in the eastern timezone during high tide with a WSW wind of 10 MPH.
  • I will not purchase StatTracker because I really can wait for the results tomorrow.
  • I will not get mad at myself after my umpteenth gut decision/educated roster move doesn't work.
  • My coolness/self worth doesn't get a boost because I know the 3rd running back on the Dolphins' depth chart, or could at least find it quickly.
  • I will never write another blog entry cataloging my addiction to FF and what it does to my psyche; I'll always play.

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