Tuesday, September 21, 2010

One Step Back, Two Steps Forward

Twice a year, during the ten days between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, I atone for an ungodly number of sins committed in the last year and reflect on the events of the last 12 months. There's also a prayer for those in need of healing, but for the last few years I've spent most of that time clearing my mind and enjoying the bubble of quiet around me. The sound of silence can be intoxicating.

I've been beyond fortunate during the prayer for health as of late. Mindnumbing events have been few and far between. My life in a vacuum where bad things don't happen often and prayers aren't necessary has magically trotted along, obstacle free.  No GPS route recalculating necessary.

Until this one.  My catalog of those in need of healing had a waiting list and even I was on it. This was a rough year for me.

It sucks when your immediate family isn't running on all cylinders.

Around the start of 5770 (September 2009 for the Gregorian calendar followers), I separated from my wife. Asking for a divorce was the hardest, most difficult thing I've had to do. Great times were had over the years, but I had to do it.

In July of this year, I was hit with a stunningly fast double whammy. First, my father was diagnosed with prostate cancer. Then, my sister was robbed in broad daylight in a populated area and received a black eye and unconsciousness for being kind enough to give directions when the (quickly apprehended and currently jailed) POS asked.  There was a lot on my plate that even I couldn't digest in one sitting.

It sucks having immediate family members to keep in mind during prayers of healing. I'm not used to it and I don't want to be. I've thought of grandparents, a friend or two, and a pet, but not my dad and sister. What happened to my cocoon of normalcy?

Damn skippy this had better be a sweeter year!

I turned 30, blinked, and my innocence was lost. Suburbia childhood, protected from bad people and bad events, home alarm system to boot, was summarily eviscerated. The grass is brown on the other side. Bad stuff happens, but not to my inner circle.  I'll wakeup soon enough.

Yet, running back to Never Neverland is not the answer. Running around obstacles only ignores problems and gives them time to grow larger. Bursting through challenges is the only way to go from here on out. My family has given me the tools to take house money even when the game seems rigged.

It started small, but I worked through the year's events. I saw a therapist a few times to get my mental bearings and learn more about myself. I sent get well cards. I bought my sister her favorite stuffed animal, Tigger, to of course help her bounce back. I started dating the maker of the world's only Quad Pie, who will be referred to in this blog as QP from here forward.  Things are already working themselves out.

You have to believe that all of us land on our tails and bounce right back.

My dad starts treatment next month with bursts of radiation 20 days in a row for his very treatable cancer and my sister has finished her physical recovery as bubbly as ever.  With the prayer for healing said for my inner sanctum and personal reflection finished to start 5771, I realize that shit happens and we all have to deal with it.  It stinks, but even manure brings nature to life.