A Great Super Bowl and Birthday Party That Didn't Happen

During Thanksgiving dinner, I talked to my parents about plans for my 30th birthday taking place this month. I should take a trip to a warm climate like LA or head south for some beach time. Then it hit me; I'll combine a Super Bowl party with my birthday all with the purpose of showing off my HD entertainment purchases. I called it my Super Super Bowl and Birthday Party Party.

2+ feet of snow in 24 hours reminds me why having a winter birthday party is tough to pull off.

Fast forward to last week. I chose to ignore predictions of increasing snowfall and went to Sam's Club in Virginia one week before the Super Bowl to stock up on copious amounts of food, booze, and silverware. Here's what I had for the big game and party:

• 120 frozen buffalo wings
• 40 bottles of beer
• 10 liters of wine
• 8 liters of Coke, 30 cans of Coke Zero, and 24 cans of Diet Pepsi
• 6 pounds of tortilla chips, 1 large bag of sour cream and onion chips, and 1 large container of pretzels
• 6 pounds of guacamole and salsa dips
  
• 150 shrimp
• 1 Transformer cupcake cake
• Vegetable platter, fruit salad, and cheese and sausage plate
• 60 bottles of water
• 20-person sandwich platter and 15-person chopped salad
• 45 jalapeno poppers
• Pistachios
  
• Dozens of my mom's famous homemade cookies
  

Mom's homemade cookies included: chocolate nut, cranberry shortbread, and Russian tea cookies.

So yeah, I bought a lot of food for the 30-person party. I held out hope that parking wouldn't be an issue by Sunday afternoon because the roads would be fine with 24 hours of sunny skies and plowing. It's just snow after all. This was my Super Bowl and 30th birthday party and damn it, it was going to happen come hell or high water (in the form of snow).

The snow made chilling drinks easier. It also prevented anyone from showing.

Turns out the roads weren't that great and parking was impossible. The cancellations poured in as I became friendly with my neighbors shoveling our parking spaces. Realizing that none of my friends would make it, I invited 10 neighbors, 4 of which showed. At least my parents and their dog made it to the DC area before the storm, right?

Not all was lost because of my no-show party; it spurred me to paint the living room, install 5.1 speakers, hide the wires inside, and even clean the house. Collectively known as the most home work I've ever done.

In this week since the big game and big party that didn't happen, I've done my best to eat the remaining cold cuts (ham, roast beef, and turkey), shrimp (mercury overdose anyone?), cookies (constant sugar high), and salad with an occasional Transformer cupcake for dessert. Despite quality meats, I'm at the point of cold cut exhaustion. Mixing toppings like tomatoes, lettuce, and cucumbers with mayo and mustard is appetizing only so many times.

Few got to see the Transformer cake actually transform into 30 cupcakes.

Of my pre-party purchases, I've knocked out 1/2 of what remained of the cold cuts, 2 cans of Coke Zero, two dozen cookies, 3 cupcakes, and the remainder of salad and shrimp. Here's what remains:

• 9 liters of wine
• 10 pounds of chips and chip dips
• 32 bottles of beer
• Much of the soda and water
• 20 cupcakes
• Pistachios
  
• Many cookies
• All of the jalapeno poppers
• 110 buffalo wings

Could my plate be more non-Kosher? Shrimp, ham, roast beef, and cheese on the same plate!

Not one to binge eat forever, my party purchases will be made available for an NCAA Tournament basketball party in mid-March. Knowing my party weather luck, it'll be the weekend of a freak DC hurricane.