Beltway Backpack Karma

I reckon it's fun and easy to write about annoying drivers around DC. It or rather I essentially imply that I'm a great driver. I am not a great driver, but do think my defensive driving does a decent job of avoiding accidents. This morning, some guy on a crotch rocket (FYI: a very quick sportbike) decided rush hour traffic would be a great time to test out his turning ability. He was going in and out of lanes near me, about 5 miles from the American Legion Bridge.

I let off the gas and let him do his thing. Once he was 2 cars in front of me, I saw him speed around the back left of a tractor trailer, only to then jump right in front of the truck. When I say right in front, I mean he could have touched the front grill. He was in the driver's blindspot for the next 10 seconds before pulling far enough ahead. And yes, he is extremely stupid.

After finally closing my agaped mouth, he was already at least 1/2-mile ahead, but karma was about to get him. No, not in the sweet form of a ticket, but rather, it seems his backpack came flying off during his ride. I can't confirm it was on his back before, but I'm 70% sure he had one on while making his daredevil moves. Plus, I doubt someone's backpack would have made it out of a car in the 1 minute between his passing me and the backpack's arrival. It was still rolling back when I swerved to avoid it and after realizing it hadn't caused any accidents, I laughed knowing his unsafe maneuvers got balanced out in the yin-yang karma driving universe.

A Taste of Lexus

On Sunday, I made my way to the Taste of Lexus event at that field where the football team from Washington plays (I can't give them the respect of saying their nickname since I hate them). I went last year and really enjoyed it. The idea is you not only get to drive lots of Lexus models, but that you also experience the Lexus "lifestyle" (read: high income). After checking in at my reserved time, I walked to this open room to see a new hybrid luxury SUV and some other well-waxed Lexus models under shiny lights.

Of course I quickly made multiple trips to the fingerfood (I'm sorry that would be hors d'oeuvres in Lexus Lifestyle Language). Most of them were really good, especially the little cheesecake squares. I still enjoyed last year's food selection better as it had real lunchtime food with large servings, but it is a free event afterall. I tried signing up for a hot stone massage, but was told I couldn't signup for another 2 hours. I came back two hours later and was told the earliest I could get in was 3 (it was already 1) so I passed. That really would have been a sweet deal though. Oh yeah, the portable bathrooms had wood trim and automatic faucets...who knew the Lexus Lifestyle extended to porta-poties.

I test drove 3 sedans while my cohert drove the SC 430 (convertible) and an LS 470 ( SUV). Lexus sure makes a nice car, but I still think KITT and The Rocket would be angry if I ever bought a luxury car. The SUV course was great since they had a ramp that one side of the car drives on to show how far you can tilt. I swear we were going to tilt over my side, but the car survived. I've never been a big SUV fan unless you have lots of equipment that needs lugging around (and gas money). They're too top-heavy for my driving which outweighs the feeling I get inside being so high off the road. As a side story, this one woman gave us a dirty look inside the lexus tent while we were getting food and she and her friend were directly behind us in the SUV line. So, what else did I do but tilt the bottom seat cushion forward and tilt the back cushion pretty far back so she'd have to readjust. Also, I turned the radio all the way up so when they turned it on, it would blast (though I bet a Lexus car does things to reset the volume to a normal level). Call me petty if you will, but I was sick of hearing their comments about the weight and appearance of everyone riding before them. They had it coming.

The convertible looked great, but we drove the white one instead of the navy blue we wanted. I drove the ES330, which was the "worst" car there, and had nobody in line. It let me learn the grand prix course before moving up in class. I then drove the LS430 which was the best ride of the day. Of course, this is as close as I'll get to that sedan for the time being. I'd like to say I tore up the track. Though I didn't hear the tire squeaking I heard with the 330, I swear I smelled some burnt/hot rubber after getting out. I wish they had more than 2 cars from their competitors. Last year, there were a handful of Jaguars, BMWs, and Benzs. Beggers can't be choosers I guess.

There was also a golf instruction station that I passed on b/c I'm a stubborn golfer and like all of us hackers, I didn't want advice I was just going to ignore/forget. There was another race course where some more powerful cars were lined up. The wait was too long for those cars so I just moved on, but I think one of them was a new IS model of which there are only 20 in the world or something special like that. I did drive another course that didn't involve as much speed, but can't recall the model since it wasn't as much fun as the grand prix - so much for being a car guy. A few times there was a live shot with some Lexus representative and host, but they all sucked because most of the driving examples didn't work well (except to show how little a Lexus rolls vs. BMW) and the photog kept using the wrong light filter so each shot was washed out. What else...I was bored in line so I edited their car spec charts and told a representative about their errors...time to freelance?

It was a really fun event that lets you floor (really abuse) cars you won't own for a while and eat delicious food. I hope they bring back the real lunchtime food spread next year and give more time slots to the hot stone massage.

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My Best Buy Scarf, Um, I mean Receipt

With a change in my roommate arrangement this weekend, I will lose usage of the apartment's XBox. I played lots of Soul Calibur 2 and Grand Theft Auto 3 and had a few of their saved files on the hard drive. So I ventured to Best Buy and dealt with its awkward parking garage and exit system to 355 to buy an 8 MB memory card. I'll eventually buy my own XBox, but that may not occur until I finish my NHL 95 season, and who knows when that'll occur. I still have to play a little more than half the season.

After looking at electronics I don't have the money for, it was time to buy the memory card. This was pretty uneventful until my credit card was swiped and I got the receipt (which isn't pictured in the blog). After purchasing my one product, I swear the receipt was over a foot long (one blogger said his receipt was 18 inches). I know you want its specific dimensions, but you'll just have to buy a pack of gum and see how long the receipt is for your own research. The receipt contained the store's information, my product and its purchasing transaction (of course), three lines about returning and refunding products (though lots of rules were on the back a few times), and some Best Buy advertisements about their other products.

Maybe the printer's before and after settings were on steroids because of the white space, or maybe Best Buy measures a store's popularity based on the exorbitant amount of receipt paper it uses. I have no other complaints about Best Buy since I'm not a frequent customer (thanks Internet shopping!) and I don't know how the receipt compares to Circuit City's, but come on, it's like an electronic store pissing contest. Whatever the reason, just be aware that while it might be long enough, your Best Buy receipt is not a scarf or shawl.

I'm watching my possible death on TV! Lucky me!

After making it through a quick hike along the Potomac yesterday, I came home to feed my empty stomach and take it easy the rest of the night. Well, I made the mistake of actually viewing one of the bogus all-news channels (I mistyped the channel I wanted) and saw an airplane. I really thought nothing of it. Maybe it was the President flying home, or some military official landing at Andrews AFB. Oh silly me, it wasn't something as nice as an expected peaceful event. Nope, the only reason CNN, FNC, MSNBC, or any other news organization would air something live, such as an airplane landing, is when it's an anticipated violent event. An airplane's front landing gear malfunctioned, shortly after taking off from Long Beach Airport, with its front tires turned to the side. Don't worry, the news directors didn't get their wish of a fireball, since it landed safely without any injuries to the 146 passengers and crew.

What good does it serve the public to view an airplane, live, as it gets ready to possibly explode and kill about 150 people in the process? Every TV news executive feels the need to prove how sadistic they are, so if there's a chance that an image will be so horrifying that it will be permanently ingrained in the viewer's mind, well, they had better jump on that chance or else lose their job. This was a Jetblue flight which offers 24 DirecTV channels, meaning the passengers could see their flight on TV, as it circled to dump fuel, and attempt a dangerous landing. What about relatives and friends of the passengers...what could they have been thinking? The airplane's TVs weren't turned off until a few minutes before landing. I'm still not sure if they should have been turned off earlier. There's a reason you don't see airplane disaster movies on cross-country flights.

But seriously, it must have been an out of body experience to watch your possibly doomed flight make its approach, while talking heads got hot and bothered when asked about what was about to happen. One passenger said he was happy to have a back row seat because a commentator said if the plane crashes, it'll be the front section that would breakoff in a ball of fire. For the record, I quickly changed channels after seeing what every channel was covering. However, I was curious what happened to the plane (not as it was happening though) so I tuned back just as it was landing. Upon which I saw the flames from the landing gear so I quickly went back to what I was watching. It's rare for me to checkout the news channels because I despise them and they're also deleted from my list of channels, so I don't have to worry about coming across them when I'm looking for something to watch.

I know I tuned back to see what happened (notice: after the event occurred) because it is a news event, but not because I wanted to see destruction and death. Was there really a need to see this event live? What about other instant impact events over the last few years that feed the media's (and public's) appetite for shock? Just where and how is the line drawn when determining if some real-reality TV is too hot for TV. Suppose news directors and executive got wind of the events on 9/11 about 15 minutes before their occurred...do you think they'd go to a live feed and show everyone what was about to occur? The ratings sure would be as great as the event was horrifying. As for me, I'll only lower myself to the all-news channels AFTER an instant impact event occurs.

A $500,000 Water Meter

For over 30 years, bolinas, California, has stopped housing developments by banning new water connections. However, a water meter at a condemned house is up for sale in the upscale town. Before paying for a sewer connection, the land, and a building itself, the water connection is expected to go for a minimum of $500k. That makes for an expensive cup of water, but a really good investment.

Necessity is the mother of invention

I didn't post over the weekend because I went home for some homecooking, familytime, and to of course see the dog. Before getting to the turnpike for the ride home, I filled up (rather someone else did it for me thanks to NJ's full service laws) with some nice $3/gallon gas and decided to wash my windshield. Then, something incredible happened, the windshield squeegee (yes, that's what it looks like in print) didn't have its typically short handle. Oh no, this one was extended, allowing me to reach all the way across the windshield without any trouble. Previously, you could try reaching the other side, but severely risked getting your shirt covered in "cleaning" solution. Otherwise, the short handle created the horrifying task of walking around your car to finish the cleaning - the evil nerve of its inventor! This also created a semi-transparent line where your reach ended when you washed and then squeegeed the glass.

I know we've all had the same dying request when we wash our windows, so it was about time someone finally had the manufacturing means to extend the freakin' handle! If it's just a New Jersey thing, since I haven't seen it down in Maryland, I think we need to pass legislation and make this a Federal, if not international law.

While there will be some State vs. Federal issues, I have faith that if not for us, for the next generation of drivers, our politicians will fight through the red tape and powerful gas station squeegee lobbyist groups, to remove both the fear of getting one's shirt wet and the agony of walking around the car to wash the other side.

Road Rage Accessories

While I have been working full-time for the last few years, I have done my fair share of commuting (since driving to the supermarket and driving to work entail different mindsets) and have been toying around an idea as long as I can remember. My invention, that hasn't been invented yet, would allow you to clearly signal (without telling your fellow driver he or she is #1) some thanks or angst to other drivers. If someone is riding your tail, you'd press a button that would illuminate a sign that says, "Back Off", or "I'm not going to go any faster", or "So, you're saying you want me to go slower?" Conversely, you'd also have a sign that read, "Thanks for letting me over" instead of the boring hand wave (that I use) and isn't always seen if someone has tinted windows. My favorite bumper sticker as of late reads, "Honk if you're Jesus." I know road rage has caused many violent conflicts, so I'm all about the passive (less likely to cause a confrontation) road rage.

Should signs not do it for you, when someone cuts you off, instead of flipping them the bird, your car would have a little mechanism that gives a light tap to the (insert insulting name here) in front of you, that would only be allowed when you're not moving. This solves any problems associated with them not seeing you when you use your middle finger and/or curse them out. (Who am I kidding, with cursing always comes the middle finger.) Sure, this would just increase road rage, necessitating the need for more insulting signs and aggressive "bumpers", but like any good therapist will tell you, we not only need to let our emotions out, but also make sure the people who bring out these emotions know how we're feeling.

The problem is everyone thinks they're better drivers than everyone else. To this end, it is fair to say we've all seen drivers who cut us off when they should've merged a mile earlier, don't use their turn signals, and think any road is a racetrack. Therefore, some drivers just deserve our insults more than others. And to the big SUV that cut me off when it went straight onto Falls Road out of the left turn lane to River Road yesterday, that didn't acknowledge my car despite my honking, cursing, and (passive since I do it under my dashboard) bird flipping, I sure wish my car had one of those new fangled tapping bumpers and a sign that read, "Go #$^%&#% %@!#% with your @#@% and your mother too!" Remember, kids read this blog too, so enjoy the cartoon below. In case the punchline is too small, it says, "I hate cars. I wish I was a #"!!8^$^% sidewalk rather than a road. Cars suck."

Here are my (not worth the wait) Freedom Walk photos

After waking up earlier than I would for work, I made my way to Arlington so I could metro over to the Pentagon and get my Freedom Walk groove on. It was a great drive from Bethesda to Arlington at 6:30 on Sunday morning. I was even able to use my cruise control throughout my time on the beltway and GW Parkway (outside of a few turns that had the audacity to slow me down). You really have to get up early on a weekend to see the beltway or downtown Arlington (below) so empty.

With plenty of water on-hand, the several thousand participants were well hydrated. The walk was only 1.7 miles with no hills of any consequence, but it did get pretty hot out there. I forgot my suntan lotion so I made a makeshift hat you normally see in the desert...it's sort of viewable in the shadow picture.

There were lots of security personnel along the route with many undercover "agents" among the crowd to keep things under control (or at least I'd like to think that). It was great seeing those I could tell were in uniform making sure everyone behaved.

At the turn onto the Memorial Bridge, there were lots of black SUVs and Secret Service agents so our group figured it was some high profile person. As it turns out, it was Donald Rumsfeld saying hi the press and taking pictures with any walkers willing to wait their turn. After we got over the bridge, we walked by some protesters on the way to the mall. Having no desire to see Clint Black (and listen to the incredibly loud speakers) we decided to make it a solid walk by returning to Rosslyn over the Roosevelt Bridge. The Freedom Walk was a nice event, as I got a free t-shirt, felt patriotic, and at least took some time out of my day to remember those fighting overseas and those we lost on 9/11. I hope events like the Freedom Walk occur for many years, or else 9/11 will be lose its overwhelming significance in our history (as suggested in this Post article a few days ago) like other somber dates such as Memorial Day and Veteran's Day.

Those Who Moved Sure Are Thankful

As I procrastinate my Freedom Walk picture posting....I've been wondering about those people who recently moved to Louisiana, Mississippi, and Alabama a week, month or even a year before Katrina's arrival. What about those people who moved from the area a day, week, or month before the storm? Timing sure is a funny thing.