Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Hey Crotch Rocket Rider, Thanks For Almost Causing An Accident

I was unprepared for my unglamorous drive down Route 29 this morning. While I had my lunch and bottle of water, I didn't bring a bazooka to take one less unsafe crotch rocket rider off the road.

Long before the gluttony of traffic lights slows 29 south, traffic was flowing well for 6:45 in the morning. As usual, most of the cars were traveling just above speed, but close together. Driving the same road with the same people everyday allows such a level of comfort.

At least this sport bike doesn't encourage dangerous driving.

I was in the middle lane, just cruising along, when I heard the revving of a crotch rocket. I checked the rearview mirror and saw no single headlight. Then I checked the left mirror, but it only showed a line of cars and trucks. In the second it took me to turn from my left mirror to my right mirror, the biker was tailgating a utility truck in the right lane. don't have the right to make a 2-lane road into a 2.5-lane danger zone.

My front right bumper was caddy corner to the truck's back left bumper. Normally this isn't much of an issue because we're in different lanes, but this idiot on his bike had aligned his front tire with mine, keeping all of 2 feet between him and the truck in front. There was so little space between the corners of my car and the truck and not much room between me and the car in front that I didn't think the biking fool would cut in front of me.

Of course he did.

He crotch rocketed in front of me with about a foot to spare, tailgated the car in front and then swerved to the left lane, promptly cutting off another sedan before speeding ahead. I took my foot off the gas after the amateur rocketeer made his move to avoid showing my brake lights and scaring the crap out of the driver behind me.

I can only dream of doing this.

I know that not all, and certainly less than half, of sport bike riders are dangerous and dumb on the road, but it's a safe bet that there are more crotch rocket riders making unsafe maneuvers than you'd find among riders of touring bikes like a Harley or Honda. It's a small minority of sport bike riders, but they still need to exercise caution.

Sport bikes aren't the culprit, irresponsible sport bike riders are.

I would love for my passive road rage to find a legal way to destroy these riders and their bikes. How about flipping them over with a stick in the road, then running them over with Big Foot, and finally blowing them up with any weapons found in Grand Theft Auto. Until then, these dangerous riders will continue to get themselves killed/injured and cause plenty of accidents with their unsafe lane changes.

Where's BIGFOOT when I needed it?

Though my car's position didn't allow it this morning, I will back off and give these asinine riders their space because it's clear they value their time, safety, and lives over everyone else's on the road. Until it's legal to carry a bazooka in your car to blowup unsafe crotch rocket bikes and their riders, it would be nice if they respected other drivers didn't make sudden and unsafe lane changes and didn't ride the shoulder or between lanes while everyone else sits in traffic.


Anonymous said...

Get off your high horse. The problem isn't the riders, it's the cagers. And for the record, lane splitting (while illegal in MD) is something that is used in MANY other states legally.

Next time you complain about people on motorcycles, think hard about the last time you saw someone on a motorcycle using a cell phone, drinking coffee, eating french fries, yelling at kids, or doing makeup.

And you talk about a bazooka. What makes you think we aren't already packing? I compact pistol fits into a jacket pocket very easily.

Miika said...

I am a sportbike rider here in California (San Diego) and I too wish I had a bazooka. A bazooka on the day I was cut off making a left turn and was clipped by a driver running a red light. With my bike on the ground, people honking at this girl to pick her motorcycle up by her self so they could go home in time to watch TV.

Weaving from one lane to another is illegal here in California without the use of your indicator lights.. however it is legal to use the same lane as a car and split traffic without going over the 'dots'.

All this is said with respect for your opinion and agree there are alot of insane and mindless meatheads (both cruisers and sportbike riders) that think they are invincible.

Love the Blog!

B and T Crowd said...


Thanks for the comment. I agree, car drivers are just as dangerous if not more aggressive b/c they assume they're safe in their metal frames, but those will compact quite easily too.

It comes down to user error for both drivers and riders.

Aldo said...

Iron Man Luna,
Nov. 18 2006 I was hit head on while on my 1100 V-Star and lost my life but was given cpr and almost lost my leg because some fool did not pay attention when he turned into me head on while he was making a turn and did loose my life and here to tell you to get off the cell phones and look out for motorcyles becuse now I am full of iron rods now they call me Iron Man thanks I don't sleep at all at night thanks to people that do not pay attention to motorcycles on the road.
El Paso Tx.

John C said...

As a sportbike rider in AZ I have always exercised the due caution and consideration deserving of other vehicles on the road. However, in May 2008 I was run over by a CAR because some jackass in a Nissan 350Z was trying to show off in the rain and lost control. And last year, in December, I was forced to dump my bike on the California freeway through Anaheim because a CAR decided that he wanted to be where I was trying to merge to more than I did, even though I signaled and waited the safe and proper length of time. Now my shoulder and my foot are pretty messed up because people in CARS dont pay enough attention to motorcycle riders.

Of course, on the other hand, I will completely agree that there are those handful of riders out there who give all of us a bad name. Among my personal favorites (not sure weather I pity them, or hate them), are the young kids on a crotch-rocket in a tank top, shorts, and a helmet doing 120 in the HOV lane while looking behind them to see if that really was a cop he just passed. That idiot's days are numbered. You cant drive any type of vehicle and not pay attention to where you're going, especially one that you're speeding on/in.